if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Randomize
