I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
