Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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