do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
