I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
