I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
