You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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