Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Randomize
