please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We left the knife in your bed.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
