Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
