if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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