No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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