your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
