the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
are you so shy because you have an std?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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