U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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