i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize