Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
