I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My vagina is very pro this idea
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