u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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