Rock
Scissors
Fuck
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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