pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize