fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Just high enough for therapy.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
