Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
