I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
