Where did you get a picture of my penis
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize