you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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