You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
