I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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