We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
