and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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