I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm jealous of your bromance
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
