Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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