Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
