Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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