Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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