Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
