Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i now understand why vodka
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
