just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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