from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
