sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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