your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
