why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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