I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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