That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
