Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
