I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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