I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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