I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
