i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
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