I'm going to jail i love you
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
