I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
