At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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