Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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