umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
