Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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