There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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