My room smells like vodka and shame
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
