i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
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