my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Randomize
