Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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