Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Randomize
