It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
