I cockslap morals
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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