It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
