office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
