He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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