Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
