i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
