You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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