At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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