If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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