The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
