he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
