So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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