8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Please, let me fuck your mom
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
